Broke Out In Hives

Cause I had sex with someone in a car
So now I can't have sex in a car
So I shot her a text
That read:
I broke out in hives after we did it in the car
I must be allergic to you
She texts back
lol u r so funny

But I wasn't kidding
A Clinic Hospital Doctor
Who was in "between jobs"
Whatever the fuck that meant
Said
That when I break out in hives its cause
I'm around
Something I'm allergic too

He gave me two shots in the ass
Joked about my beard
& even suggested that I should
"Maybe Stop Smoking Cigarettes"

So I sent her another text
That read:
I'm serious
Now you owe me twenty seven dollars

She didn't reply

I hadn't seen
Or talked to her
In like two months
When one night in
Downtown L.A.
She tapped me on the shoulder
& as I was turning she said
"I thought You were allergic to me"
I replied
"I am but the police wont let me get a restraining order on you"

She laughed
& said
"You're So Funny"
& started to introduce me to her friends
Who all dressed like each other
& drank from the same
PBR Tall Can

I kinda smiled
& took the opportunity to
Excuse Myself
To go smoke some weed
Cause I was starting to feel
Itchy & Uncomfortable

Pon walking out
The DJ played
A song that was once obscure
When it dawned on me

I might just be allergic to Hipsters
& That My Clinic Hospital Doctor
Who was in "between jobs"
Might just be doing too much Oxycontin
Which could explain his
"in-between jobless"